‘Whose Business, If I Marry My Son?’

By Michael West
Things considered to be sacrilegious in the society have now adorned the toga of norms. I don’t see the behaviour as a trend of civilization, rather, as abnormality and absurdity of a maddening dimension in a crazy world filled with contempt, immorality and lewdness.

I didn’t plan to revisit or continue with last week’s topic but some weird responses provoked this follow up. An online media operator had called me earlier that the topic should have a follow up because there are other areas that needed to be looked into. His suggestion was appreciated but I didn’t think along his line until early this week when a man called to express a bizarre opinion about the issue.

He said “I really enjoyed your article. It was well written and quite on point but you failed to consider the other side of the coin. It is agreed that it is morally wrong for a man to have sex with his daughter; yes, but how about women that sleep with their own sons? I have a similar case at hand now that I don’t know how to handle it. Like you rightly pointed out, there are cases that have nothing to do with rituals or mental case. They are cases premised on economic and security decisions.

“A neighbour is involved with his biological daughter. His wife wanted to make a case out of the situation but he told his wife that it was going to be a shared shame to all of them as a family. Besides, he said it is not peculiar to him. His wife, he said, should have asked to know what pushed him into the affair rather than trying to bring the roof down on everybody’s head as if he has committed a strange crime. His reason may not be reasonable to some people but it is to himself. He didn’t want his daughter to experience heartbreak or agony of being jilted by “unserious guys” who parade themselves as suitors. According to him, his daughter would have been “tasted” by only God knows the number of men and at the end of the day, dumped! He said he had spent so much to raise and sponsor her education to the university level, and as pretty as she is, he could commit murder if any “hit-and-run” guy jilts his daughter after a season of a so-called relationship. And to avoid the possible tragedy, he decided to “reap and enjoy the fruit” of his labour quietly.” Wow!!! I couldn’t feign amazement listening to the caller.

This reminds me of a woman in Malawi who married her own son for a similar reason. According to media reports, the Malawian Mother married her own son saying she spent a lot of money on his education. The 47-Year-old woman, Memory Njemani, married her 30-year-old biological son for the reason that she spent all her life savings on his education. The news broke out in 2018.

Also in Zimbabwe, a woman and her son have done the unthinkable as they fell in love with each other. They later got married since the mom was six months pregnant and was expecting her son’s baby. The woman, Mbereko, (40), who became a widow 12 years ago, lived with her first child, FaraiMbereko (23). The incestuous mothers are still married to their biological sons and they are staying together.

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Another woman from an undisclosed location made public her amorous affair, in fact, marriage with her 14-year-old biological son. As at the time she posted the news on Facebook, she was six months pregnant for his son. The edited version of her Facebook post announcing the development reads:

“For those who don’t know, me and my 15 year old son had a baby last year together. I had sex with him when he was 14 years old. The baby came out fine. Just to let you know I also have three (3) daughters who are thirteen(13) fourteen(14) and sixteen(16).

“My son is a great dad and also a great boyfriend to me. This all started when I realized that I was having feelings for him, and I decided to have a one-on-one talk with him. I told him ‘mommy loves you more than what it means to just be a mommy to you’ I also told him that “mommy likes you just like how a girl from school likes you.’

“I explained everything to him and got him to understand and he felt the same way as I did as he began to ask questions. He asked “so, does that mean that we can kiss and hold hands like boyfriend and girlfriend?” I told him yes, and even sex.”

In view of the growing fad of incest in many homes, our generation is at competition with accursed and destroyed cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Added to these abominable relationships is homosexuality. This is aside cases of mothers-in-law sleeping with their sons-in-law while some had been reported to be pregnant in the process. What a world!

Most people belong to one religion or the other, and none, to my best of knowledge, entertains incest as an acceptable sexual rectitude in family life. Even traditionalists fiercely abhor it as a taboo with grave consequences. How it has become festered quietly in many homes across religious, racial and ethnic divides is a question begging for an answer.

In all of this, what’s the way out? This is a social malady and a big family problem. For a man to climb on top of his own mother like a he-goat is bewildering. Well, mothers-in-law are discreetly enjoying romantic actions with their sons-in-law, too, but this is not so rampart in our clime, yet. It is a common ‘game’ in the western world. I hope before it is fully imported into our space, sanity would have prevailed. Is it possible to legislate against the aberration? If yes, who will risk the family name in disrepute in public and media space? How about the issue of stigmatization? What will the penalty be for those found culpable?

However, a lawyer, Mrs OlusayoAdeleye, said incest is considered a criminal act in Nigeria and relevant laws must be enforced to deter potential offenders. “The Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act 2015 in Section 25, criminalises incest and prescribes a minimum term of 10 years imprisonment without an option of fine,” she said. Quoting various laws against incest and described it as a sexual act that can be said to be against the law of nature, Adeleye urged the government to pass the Sexual Offences Act (Amendment) Bill 2019 in order to protect minors and under aged against sexual exploitation. She further encouraged state governments to domesticate laws criminalising incest.

Addressing these odd cases requires the will on the part of the government as some of the custodians of culture and supposed moral agents are also guilty of the same evil.Like a woman who is suspected to be involved with her son quipped, “whose business is it if I choose to marry my son?” After all, it is a free world, and everybody will account for their own good and evil deeds but it behoves us to instil moral values and sexual sanity in this amoral generation.

Do have a restful weekend.

Quote:
“My son is a great dad and also a great boyfriend to me. This all started when I realized that I was having feelings for him, and I decided to have a one-on-one talk with him.”

• West wrote via
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